Dragons and Noodles
by Dragon Servant Kida
Summary: A collection of antiYaio and Regular humor fics. CHILLY PART TWO! Chapter three :P
1. Fangirl issuse

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ, and I pretend GT dosen't exist, because it wasn't even written by Akira Toryiama. I don't own New York City either. That would just be stupid.

_This story is actually a collectuion of mini-fics. Each one includes humor, character bashing, and a different plot line._

Story One: Winter Love

Vegeta looked deep into Goku's warm, ebony eyes. "I will always Love you, no matter what happens, Vegeta.." Goku purred. They stood in the middle of times square. It was Christmas eve, and everything was calm, and quite as the clean white snow pilled up around them.

Vegeta laughed softly and leaned forward to met his lover's lips. Fortunatley, Times Square, No matter what time or day it happens to be is always filled with people of all sorts, including...

"OH MY GOD, VEGETA AND GOKU ARE GAY?" A girl in a black coat screamed. A news reporter popped out of a nearby trash can and began doing what News people do best, terrorizing the masses.

"I'm Reporter Camille here with the beaking story!" She announced into a mike attached to a large pair of speakers.

Goku and Vegeta didn't wait around for the rest of the 'breaking news' From Camille. They flew off, an angry mob following them. Gokua and Vegeta landed in a alley waty just as the mob roared past.

A few band memebers happened to be on there way home after there first gig in The City. One of the band memebers was carring a Guitar slung over her back. She happened to notice Goku and Vegeta in the alley way, and being a hardcore DBZ fan, she decided to cheack it out.

"Vegeta!" She squealed running into the alleyway. "I've wanted to met you for, well practically my whole life and I was wondering if you would sign..." She trailed off when she realized Vegeta wasn't standing close to Goku, he mas making OUT with Goku.

Inexplainable rage filled the Fangirl at the sight of her Hero making out with another male. "ERAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" She screamed, running into the alley with her Guitar held over her head like a club. She began swinging wildly and knocked out both Goku and Vegeta.

"FROM NOW ON, I'M A FREEZA FAN GIRL! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH" She cackled and ran off shotting ki blasts at anthing she saw. "ALL HAIL LORD FREEZA!" She screamed destroying the city.

Goku and Vegeta woke up two hours later under ten feet of rubble, and an annonucment that the planet was now rulled by Freeza, and that they had been reasigned to protect planet Namek.

**_And that is why, little children, you must never write Yaio. :P_**

**THE END**

_(Don't ask, I was feeling random today.) R&R the next story will be better, and longer._


	2. Chilly

Disclaimer: If I had two rubber bands, and I ate three, how many would I have? I Don'town Dragon Ball Z. Akira Toriyama does, go bother him if you want REAL DBZ this is just a fan-made fic.

Woah, I didn't realize this would gain ANY popularity. Just as I promised, another short story. Sorry I didn't write for so long. I can'twrite good humor when I'm depressed or destracted, and I have been both for the past two weeks. Okay, first off, REVIEWS LOL

Review replies:

Grand Wolf: First to review as always. I HATE when people bring Vegeta so out of character you don't think he's really himself anymore. And there is only one, diabolicly evil Camille. I can't tell you WHO she is but she pops up alot and freqeuntly as a on-going joke. (Oh and BTW, I posted on your fourm . )

AelitaAngels: Yes. When I write, I try to imagine myself as the character so that I can get a better idea of what I'm supposed to be writting about. When I imagined myself as the Fangirl, (which isn't hard, because I am one, ) I could only think of having one of my insane flip out attacks. (I get mad easily)

Obsessed With Goku: If you ACTUALLY READ THE CHAPTER you would understand that I'm not WRITTING YAOI I'm MAKING FUN OF YAOI STORIES. Duh.

J.S: I feel your pain. You should get an account on fanfiction. Yes, everyone loves a good anti-Yaoi fic between all the fluffy-yaoi CRAP.

thewriterofstuff: Yes... I'm updating damn it! STOP BUGGING ME NOW! LOL

wraithgirl: Thanks! I'm anti-Yaoi, always have, always will be.

.: Chilly:.

Goku was sitting in his back yard. "Just two more hours..." He though glancing at his watch for the time. Vegeta was supposed to met him for a bit of sparring at around two o'clock, but unfortunatley for goku, It was only twelve.

Suddenly, out of the sky hurled a space pod landing smack in the middle of Goku's back yard. "EARRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHH" Goku screamed jumping up and flying in the direction of Vegeta's house. "VEGETA VEGETA!" Goku screamed "Aliens landed in my backyard!"

Vegeta stepped outside holding a TV remote in one hand and looking very irritated. "Kakarot, you are a MORON!" Vegeta shouted angrily.

"But Vegeta, I'm afraid of Aliens!" Goku yelled. "YOU ARE ONE IDIOT" Vegeta screamed.

"Please come look at the ship!" Goku pleaed

"No"

"Please!"

"No"

"PLEASSSSSSEE"

"ALRIGHT Vegeta snapped, "I'll come with you."

Goku and Vegeta landed in Goku's backyard. Just as they touched down, the door of the ship slowly swung open and a small kitty in saiyan clothing jumped out.

"AWWWW" Goku cooed. "What a cute kitty."

"SILENCE SAIYAN SCUM" The kitty yelled. "I AM CHILLY, BROTHER OF FREIZA, LORD OF THE UNIVERSE!"

"You've got to be kidding." Vegeta said. He reached down and lifted Chilly up off the ground. "Cooler was stupid, but this, THIS is unbelivable."

Chilly scratched wildly at the air. "PUT ME DOWN YOU MONKEY BUTT!" Vegeta dropped Chilly on the ground.

"OfffF" Chilly hit the ground with a thud. "You will pay for this!" He screamed at Vegeta's retreating back.

"I'll let Kakarot handle you." Vegeta said as he flew off through the air.

Chilly turned and faced Goku. "I WILL-" Chilly growled pointing at Goku.

"CUTE CUTE CUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEE" Goku screamed and cuddled Chilly. He put a leash on Chilly. He pet Chillly on the head.

"Why do I even bother..." Chilly wondered as he was cuddled by Goku.

Okay, This is really just an excuse to bring in my new OC Chilly. You'll be seeing him again soon. (In Chilly Part 2)


	3. Chilly: Part Two

Disclaimer: If I have offended anyone with these warped fic-bashing fics so far then... TO BAD! I'm gonna keep doing that so screw all of you! (Accept the reviewers, ALL HAIL THE REVIEWERS!) I don't own DBZ blah blah blah.

Due to Chilly's exploding popularity, I decided to let him help answer your reviews! So here's CHHHHHIIILLLLYYY!

Chilly: Make that LORD OF THE UNIVERSE!

Review time! By _Chilly_ and (ME!)

amytherat: _TO...GASP...MUCH...GASP...CUDDLING...GASP_ (0.o Chilly appreciates the support... I think...)

The General of Darkness: _points to Roux EGAD MORE MONKEY SCUM SAIYANS! _(Ummmmmmm...HA, don't worry, Chilly didn't know ummm...mean that. CHILLY SHUT UP!) _NEVER! I AM LORD OF THE- _(SHUT UP!)

Grand Wolf: (Yes, That is what I wanted to portray... IT HAS BEEN DONE FAR TOO MANY TIMES!) I _LORD OF THE---_ (Shut Up or I'll hurt you... I SWEAR I WILL!)

thewriterofstuff: (You are a moron... A sick perverted Moron. AND YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!) Please ignore that review response. It has to do withan event that occurred elsewhere, and really has nothing to do with the story or the reviews! _FEEL MY WRATH, THE RATH OF THE COLD FAMILY!_

wraithgirl: (huh? You lost me... I don't get it.) _BOW DOWN PUNNY HUMANS AND SAIYANS!_

Chapter Three: Chilly: Part Two

"Suffocating...can't... breathe!" Chilly gasped as Goku's hug/choke hold reduced the air intake to his little alien kitty lungs. " Aww so cute!" Goku cooed. "How could something as cute as you be so evil?" He asked while cuddling Chilly even more.

"Let... go...I'll... Show...PANT... you...You..have...defeated...me...GASP...In...HUHHHHH...Battle...I'll...show...you...PANT... my...true...nature...GASP!" Goku placed Chilly onto the ground. Chilly lay, panting for a few seconds, and then straightened himself out.

"My true evil... Lies not with the destroying and selling of planets... But the leaching of there economies." Chilly began, pulling himself up to his full height (which wasn't really high.) "I take over planets by... SELLING IPODS!"

Goku stared at Chilly. "iPods? You mean those things that play music and videos?" Chilly nodded. "I create the ipods using alien technology for little cost to me, and sell them at almost 200 more at what I paid to make each one! And the best part is, I come out with a new version of the exact same device, and they STILL pay more for it, just because it has more 'space' and once the inhabitants of the entire planet fall for the plot and no money is left on the planet, I buy the planet out from under them, WITH THERE OWN MONEY! BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!" Chilly cackled.

Goku thought for a moment. "But you don't sound evil, you just sound corporate, which is completely legal on earth. Chilly stopped his evil laugh. "So here I'm not Evil?" He asked. "Not really..." Goku said with a shrug.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You have ruined me Son GOKU! I cannot go on!" Chilly screamed. He ran back into his space ship and slammed the door with a "whump!" The space ship quickly took of and exited earth's atmosphere within seconds.

"Wow, he was the easiest family member to defeat yet." Goku thought. "Awwww, I wish I asked him for at least an iPod shuffle before he left."

Goku looked up at the sun. It was about time to head over to the Brief's house for a training session in the gravity room with Vegeta.

When Goku arrived, Vegeta was awaiting him at the front door. "Okay, I'm here Vegeta!" Goku said cheerfully. Vegeta ignored Goku bobbing his head up and down slightly. Goku noticed some thing white in Vegeta's ear….

"VEGETA, YOU HAVE AN IPOD? NO FAIR!"

THE END

Yes it WAS short...Chilly will return, not today, but maybe someday, once he dreams up a new diabolical plot


End file.
